White Wino Fondue

I have yet to meet a person that doesn’t like fondue. And I hope I never do. Cause that would be depressing. 

I don't subscribe to any major religions or beliefs, but if I had to pick one, it would be hedonism.
I don’t subscribe to any major religions or philosophies, but if I had to pick one, it would be hedonism.

The best fondue I ever had was a semi-intoxicated afternoon over in New Glarus, Wisconsin. After visiting the brewery we wandered over to the small scenic Swiss town. Kristin had told me beforehand about the fondue at the Glarner Stube (a name to this day I cannot and refuse to pronounce correctly) and I was excited for it. Excited. But not ready. As I dipped my little fondue fork, my palette was unprepared. For I had tasted heaven.

I was happy and sad at the same time. I tasted the greatest thing in existence, yet I will forever be let down by any other food. What a rush. What a feeling.

It tasted as if:

Someone had plucked the big old moon and melted it right down in a bowl just for you. 

That the very fondue pot was filled with the hopes and happiness of every living thing

That feeling the characters got in the last episode of Lost when they touched each other and got their memories back. 

One of mankind’s greatest flaws seems to be trying to recreate our happiest, fondueiest memories. Instead of acknowledging the end of something, we trudgingly try to recreate it.

And that’s exactly what I did.

At the end of the day all melted cheese tastes good.
At the end of the day all melted cheese tastes good.

It took a few attempts to get it down, but this is as close as I could get to heaven. The good things are that you don’t need a fondue pot! A regular stock pot or crock pot does the trick. I ate mine with some summer sausage, pickles, and homemade crackers. Oh and grapes. It sounds weird, but dunking grapes in melted cheese is delicious. But I guess dunking just about anything in melted cheese is delicious.

Ingredients

  • 7 oz of Gouda
  • 20 oz of Swiss
  • 1 1/2 cups of any cheep dry white wine, I went with Barefoot’s Sauvignon Blanc. I dare somebody to try Thunderbird. Do it.
  • 1/2 tsp of nutmeg powder
  • 1 Garlic clove
  • 1 tsp lemon juice
  • 1 cup of chicken broth
  • ~ 1/2 cup of flour
  • 1/2 tsp of fresh ground black pepper

Instructions

  • Rub both the stockpot and or fondue pot with the garlic clove. (You can leave it in the stockpot if you don’t own a fondue pot or crockpot, but you have to leave it on the stove to keep it heated).
  • Add the chicken broth, nutmeg, black pepper, lemon juice, and wine to the stockpot, simmer on low heat.
  • Start shredding the cheese into a large bowl. It’s hard work shredding cheese, so go ahead and take a few pulls from what’s left of the wine.
  • Coat the shredded cheese in the flour. Make sure all of it gets evenly coated.
  • Turn up the heat to medium and gradually add the cheese to the pot. It’s important to wait until the cheese completely melts before adding more.
  • Whisk the cheese to help break up clumps if needed.
  • Keep going until all the cheese is in.
  • Add a splash of wine if you have any left.
  • Keep stirring for a couple minutes then either transfer to a crockpot on low heat, or eat it straight out of the stockpot.

Notes

Keep it over heat! Otherwise it starts to solidify.
It can keep for a few days before it gets gross.
Reheating it sucks though, so I’d advise to eat all of it in one sitting. It’s ok, I won’t judge.

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