Imperfect Crackers

I think the best thing about crackers is that there are so many different kinds. We’re talking shapes, sizes, flavors, you name it. They can be as bold or plain as you like. Though never the star of a snack or meal, the best crackers are the ones that tie it all together. 
Simple homemade crackers
Mine always turn out thicker than I’d like. Really have to invest in a rolling pin and ditch the pint glass.

Much like pretzels, I have an addiction to crackers. They are the perfect savory, quick snack you can use with just about anything. After becoming an adult who is responsible for feeding himself, I realized how expensive that addiction is. Alright. A box of crackers isn’t all that expensive. But when you’re drunk, you’d be surprised how quickly a box can innocently disappear. 

So I took it upon myself to learn how to make my own crackers. I started modest enough. My first batch was simple. Too simple. 

A few experiments later I felt bold. I had crackers with powdered cheese. Crackers with cayenne and jalapeno seasonings. Crackers with basil and olive oil. And so on. 

That's a start
That’s a start


Once you become more comfortable with the base recipe, it gets easier to try new flavors. I like to walk the grocery store and when I see an interesting flavor, (looking at you smoked Gouda Triscuits) I try to recreate it. 

So be bold. Take the leap and try making your own homemade crackers. I’m still a long way from perfecting mine. But it’s a start. 


  • 3 cups of flour
  • 2 tsp of sugar
  • 2 tsp of black pepper
  • 2 tsp of salt
  • 2 tsp of garlic powder
  • 1 cup of Parmesan cheese, grated
  • 2 tbsp of room temp butter
  • 1 cup of water
  • 1/2 cup of olive oil


  • 1. Preheat the oven to 420 degrees
  • 2. Add flour, salt, sugar and mix
  • 3. Add butter, oil, Parmesan, and water
  • 4. Mix it up into a nice ball, kneading it well
  • 5. Once mixed, separate into 2 halves
  • 6. Lay out halves on floured surface
  • 7. Spread them as thin as possible
  • 8. Cut up with pizza cutter into small squares, poke squares with fork to prevent airing out
  • 9. Place pieces on oiled baking sheet, its ok if they bump into each other. You can use two baking sheets if needed
  • 10. One last season with a dash of salt and pepper
  • 11. Place in oven, bake for about 20 minutes

Feel free to switch up the cheeses. Try something new. As long as it’s finely grated, it should blend nicely
Serve with however you eat your crackers (Mine of course is always with a nice meat & cheese platter)

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